31 Days of Halloween #5: Chopping Mall

***** (5 out of 10 Stars)

Directed by Jim Wynorski

“The System is Absolutely Foolproof. Now everyone connected with the mall has been issued an ID badge so that when the mechanism goes online the Protectors will make Park Plaza the safest mall in the state. Trust me. Absolutely nothing can go wrong.”

Back in 1986, shopping malls were the epitome of economic stability and teenage freedom. They were sanctuaries where kids could escape reality, away from the watchful eyes of parents and teachers. Times have changed, but back then, malls were thrilling, secure, and the ultimate teenage kingdom.

Malls were also hubs of spectacle, hosting festivals, fashion shows, tech demos, free concerts, puppet shows, and even meet-and-greets with Santa Claus or the Easter Bunny. Enter the film Chopping Mall, where all that excitement and perceived safety is threatened by the dark side of technological advancement. This is where the horror lies—in shattering the illusions of freedom and security.

The film kicks off with a crowd watching a video demo of a new high-tech security system, introducing us to the Protectors, robotic security guards. Paul and Mary Bland (Paul Bartel and Mary Woronov) critique what they see, setting the stage for the survival rules that follow.

One of the standout aspects of Chopping Mall is its unique blend of ’80s charm and campy horror. The film doesn’t take itself too seriously, which adds to its entertainment value. The concept of robotic security guards going rogue in a shopping mall is both intriguing and amusing, providing a fresh twist on the typical horror formula. The practical effects and animatronics, while dated, have a nostalgic appeal that fans of the genre can appreciate. Additionally, the film’s brisk pace ensures there’s never a dull moment, making it a fun, albeit cheesy, ride from start to finish.

Is this film science fiction or horror? Honestly, it’s a mix of both, reminiscent of Westworld, where system failures lead to societal collapse. Beyond that, it’s its own beast. Is it fun? Sure. Is it a great movie? Not really, but at just over an hour, it’s entertaining. A heads-up for parents: there’s gratuitous nudity, typical of many ’80s films. It’s not a favorite of mine, and the scariest thing about it is the misleading box art and title. The acting is subpar, the cinematography lacks atmosphere, and the title doesn’t fit the film. In the end, I’d give it 5 out of 10 stars.