Tactical Tuesday: The Next Job

Story Hooks that are No Joke

Alright, squad, gather ‘round. You think being a modern-day mercenary is all glory, big payouts, and driving off into the sunset in a bulletproof SUV? Hate to break it to you, but that’s Hollywood crap. The real merc life—the life your TTRPG characters signed up for—is crawling through the dirt of the gig economy with nothing but bad intel, barely functional gear, and an employer whose middle name might as well be “Shady.”

Welcome to the mercenary workforce, private. It’s brutal, and surprise—you’re overqualified for all of it.

The Search for a Mission

You’ve just stumbled back to base after your last job. Maybe you’ve been guarding an arms shipment out in God-knows-where, dodging drunk insurgents and mosquitoes the size of drones. Maybe you were extracting some suit with a secret briefcase and trust issues, only to find out he didn’t include “getting shot at five times” in the budget. Either way, you come out alive but desperate for another paycheck. A real one this time.

What’s next? You rifle through your options—a.k.a. the smudged piece of paper taped to a dimly flashing vending machine in the corner of HQ, or worse, a crumpled flyer someone stuffed between the spare mags in your gear bag. No golden parachute here, pal. Just you, your squad, and whatever scraps of work hit the board before you can blink.

The real killer? These jobs aren’t just low-brow; they’re downright ridiculous. You’ll see what I mean once you get past the typos that make “cod” sound like “covert.”

The Absurd Logistics of Modern Contracts

Alright, so everyone’s strapped for resources. Fine—welcome to professional problem-solving. But when you’re tasked with “guarding an empty warehouse” for 72 straight hours only to find out it’s in an active flood zone? That’s not just underpaid—it’s some kind of cosmic joke. Good news, though, they promised you pizza after. Bad news? It’s cold pizza.

These modern gigs can be anything from shaking up rebel factions to ferrying illegal cargo while pretending you’re just delivering medical supplies. Once, we got hired to “deploy convincing decoys for international exercises.” Translation? Blow up some weather balloons and hope no one noticed the budget for “explosives” was actually peanuts.

Where You Find the Work

Jobs come from some questionable venues when you’re a deniable asset for hire. These aren’t sleek classified corridors of top brass; you’re more likely to stumble into the job market in places like:

• The Corkboard at the Back of a Bunker Bar: Everyone’s favorite hive of scum and lax background checks. You’ll find job offers scrawled in Sharpie on cigarette cartons and pinned with dull switchblades. Half the paper’s been torn off, and the rest is written in shorthand only your scout seems to understand.
• Tucked Into Your Gear Bag: Ever pull your spare grenade pouch out and find a note reading, “Looking for covert ops support. Payment is… negotiable”? Feels real professional until you realize the details were handwritten in bad penmanship.
• The Local “Official” Recruitment Office: If they can’t fill the gig with bored vets from the drink-and-regret club, they’ll outsource it to you guys. The “desperate but competent” labor force. They’ve got multi-million-dollar contracts funneling cash upstairs, but somehow your crew’s paycheck barely covers replacing the tactical boots your rookie stepped on again.

The Life You Signed Up For

Don’t kid yourself. This kind of grind is exactly why you got into the merc life, isn’t it? The contracts are a circus act, the planning’s about as concrete as wet mud, and the payout only sometimes buys you good cognac.

Your GM loves throwing this nonsense your way. They know rolling around in the absurdity of guarding an empty airplane hangar from “violent corporate espionage” makes for the best stories. And who are you to argue? The chaos is part of the charm.

But here’s the thing—you’re still standing. Screw the bad specs, the low pay, and the never-ending slog of sketchy jobs. When it hits the fan—and it always does—you’re still the ones showing up, locked and loaded. Your mission? Bust into whatever poor excuse for “theater” this world throws at you, secure the target, and figure out how to keep the team’s combined ego from making the situation worse.

The merc life isn’t pretty, but hey, it beats the alternative. You’re not here for the glory. You’re here because when things go sideways, you’re the solution. Or the problem. Guess it depends on how the dice roll.

Now pack up, buttercup. There’s another job waiting in the depths of whatever logistical hell the GM dreamed up this week. Just pray it doesn’t involve guarding tubs of industrial lard again. That was a low point for everyone.

Classified Ads for Adventurers, Mercenaries, and Rogues

WANTED: Recovery specialist for a high-risk retrieval. Treasure cache lost in the Ashen Barrens, guarded by unknown entities. Map provided, payment upon successful return. 150c., negotiable. Bring your own gear. Reply to Box 13A, Blackspire Post, Ketherlands.

SEEKING CREW: Explorers needed for expedition into the Shardspire Ruins. Danger is a guarantee; untold riches are the prize. Must provide proof of combat skill or arcane expertise. Terms negotiable—20% of the haul plus hazard bonus. Reply to Captain Jaxis, harbormaster’s office, Ironwake City.

FOR HIRE: Silent blade seeking work. Over 15 years’ experience in infiltration, silent takedowns, and artifact acquisition. Can operate under extreme conditions. Strictly results-driven. No questions asked. 50c. retainer required. Contact Verren via Box 635, Moonshadow Tavern, Crestfall.

HELP WANTED: Tower wardens needed for overnight shifts at Eldshadow Keep. Possibility of intrusion by hostile forces. Pay is 80c. per night plus health coverage (revivification included). Must sign liability waiver. Direct inquiries to Keeper Havrick, Eastgate District, Eldshadow.

MERCENARIES WANTED: Caravan guards needed for route through the Sandspire Dunes. Threats include bandit clans and sand wraiths. Pay starts at 200c. per completed trip. Combat experience mandatory; references preferred. Meet at The Dusty Anchor, Caravan Road, Emberport.

CALL TO ARMS: Beast-hunters and slayers of renown! The village of Gallowmere is plagued by a shadowbeast that strikes at night. Reward is 500c. and the town’s eternal gratitude—or what’s left of its inhabitants. Bring fire and silver. Assemble at Gallowmere’s square by next full moon.

EXPEDITION RECRUITMENT: Adventurers required for a deep-sea treasure hunt. Ship provided, but expect encounters with dangerous leviathans. Any recovered treasure to be split evenly. Applicants must demonstrate survival skills. Reply P.O. Box 78, Blackwater Docks, The Crag.

BLOODSPORT PARTICIPANTS NEEDED: Enter the Bastion Arena’s Grand Tournament of Blades! Fame, fortune, and a 1,000c. prize await the victor. Signing bonus of 100c. for early registrants. Not responsible for injuries—or deaths. Register at Bastion Arena, Crimson District, Thronehold.

LOST: Daughters of noble family vanished near the Witchwood. 2,000c. offered to anyone who returns them alive. Expect hazardous terrain, deadly creatures, and possible arcana resistance. Serious inquiries only. See Sir Edric at House Clarowind, Highspire.

FOR SALE: “Gutter Rat,” a feral-bred battle automaton. Loyalty chip intact, fully operational, requires periodic tuning. Won’t harm its master (probably). 1,500c. OBO. Buyer must collect from Grimgear Depot, Steelstride Line, Ironhold.

WANTED: Brave souls for a mission into the Cauldron of Thorns. Retrieve rare alchemic ingredients (list forthcoming) from highly deadly flora. Extraction bonus and hazard pay included—350c. minimum. Reply to Alchemist Renna, Apothecary Hall, Gildenreach.

FREE HELP WANTED: Ghostwranglers needed to appease restless spirits haunting the Old Harrow Mine. Payment in reclaimed gems and ores. Bring your own exorcist gear or a strong stomach. Apply in person at Harrow Outpost, Dusthelm Range.

Perfect hooks for your next TTRPG adventure—roll initiative and prepare for chaos!

Classified Ads for Modern Mercenaries and Operatives

WANTED: Retrieval team for downed surveillance drone in hostile territory. Target located in the Red Zone, site compromised by enemy patrols and UAV surveillance. Advanced recon experience required. 280c. upon mission completion, gear costs not covered. Respond to ONYX at P.O. Box 438, Eastwatch, Grayfield.

SEEKING CONTRACTORS: Former spec-ops preferred for high-risk VIP extraction in conflict-heavy region. Enemy combatants heavily armed. Mission success bonus included—400c. per operative if all objectives are achieved. Independent contractors only. Contact Commander Harris at Barricade Logistics, Box 12768, Steelpoint.

IMMEDIATE DEPLOYMENT: Heavy weapon specialists required for convoy protection through undermined urban highway routes. Anticipated IED and ambush threats. 180c. per day, payout guaranteed regardless of survival. Bring your own ordnance if possible. Apply at HQ Alpha Post, Falcon Sector.

FOR HIRE: Professional sniper with counter-sniper training, 12 years in skirmish ops, offers services. Expertise in long-range engagement and asset neutralization. Fully equipped with custom loadouts. Discrete. Contract starting at 300c. Contact N., P.O. Box 2397, Iron Range, Locust Haven.

SECURITY DETAIL NEEDED: Operatives wanted for private maritime vessel operation through pirate-infested waters. Logistics company facing multiple raids. Payment dockside—600c. flat fee with an extraction bonus. Must have CQC and open waters experience. Reports to Dock Delta 7, Seablade Pier, Port Arclight.

MISSION NOTICE: Scavenger teams sought for artifact retrieval from depleted warzones. Target includes intel caches and prototype weapons left behind. High radiation zones likely, HAZMAT readiness essential. Pay starts at 550c., hazard tier raises total payout. Contact Blackstone Logistics, Code P.O. Omega 942, Saltmarch Depot.

HELP WANTED: Personnel for demolition ops targeting remote black-market armories. Explosives expertise critical, no patience for amateurs. Entire crew paid no less than 750c. Risk waiver mandatory. Contact Lieutenant Jaeger, Contract Station Echo, Unit C-45, Mountain’s Edge.

URGENT CONTRACT OPPORTUNITY: Advanced drone operator or tech expert required for cyber ops mission targeting enemy comms infrastructure. Mission involves deep infiltration and remote hacking, 300c. early completion bonus. Non-attributable escape routes provided. Details sent to secure inbox after sign-up. Register via Cipher Nexus, P.O. 664, Silver District, Gridpoint West.

SPECIAL ASSIGNMENT: Joint ops available. Secure high-value intelligence package from insurgent-controlled compound. Guard force includes mechanized infantry drones. Pay starts at 700c., potential tag-on missions increase bonus potential. Must carry encrypted comms for instant extraction notices. Contact Operation Lead via Box Titan-9001, Haventhorpe HQ.

FOR SALE: “Sundowner,” a heavily modified Humvee with mounted M2 Browning, remote drone support package included. Previous combat usage verified. 6,200c., negotiable. Buyer accepts operational risks; vehicle sold as-is. Arrange demonstration at Grayhawk Base, Sector X, Iron City.

SEEKING SPECIALISTS: Tactical divers required for an underwater extraction near a submerged ruins site. Hostile maritime forces in the AO; expect heavy resistance. 1,000c. completion fee, UAV recon data provided if mission committed. Contact ReefOps International, in-port Beachhead Base, Dockline 74, Kalypso Bay.

CONTRACTORS NEEDED: Ground troops for reinforcing an armored convoy through contested terrain. Intel suggests potential anti-armor ordnance and trapped roadways. Hazard guaranteed. 500c. contracted with payout immediately after safe arrival at check-point. Assemble at Forward Op Station Convoy East, Raventon Corridor.

Ideal for kicking off modern military TTRPG missions—gear up and load out for high-stakes action!

More Classified Ads for Modern Mercenaries and Operatives

WANTED: Tactical medics with battlefield experience for high-risk infiltration mission. Evac unit required to stabilize and extract wounded asset from hostile terrain. 300c. payout, bonus for zero-loss extraction. Contact MedLink Ops, Box 88-R, Irongate Refuge.

SEEKING SPECIAL OPERATIVES: Experts in demolitions and recon needed for bridge sabotage. Enemy logistics route must be interrupted during a coordinated assault. Pay starts at 500c. with additional hazard bonus for mission success. Meet at Blackout Base, Zone 47, Midnight Reef.

FOR HIRE: Ex-black ops commando available for high-risk term contracts. Specializes in asset recovery and VIP extractions under duress. No inquiries refused—pay rate begins at 400c. per day. Contact Shadow Operator, Box 375-X, Null Point Station.

CONTRACT OPENING: Tech warfare specialists sought to disable satellite uplink systems in hostile mountain ranges. Enemy surveillance includes drone swarms. Offers 650c. upfront, with critical interference bonuses. Apply at Cipherpoint Solutions, P.O. Box 456-Beta, Dawnhold.

MISSION NOTICE: Seek covert team to retrieve stolen encryption keys from secure urban server compound. High-value intel retrieval intended, 1,000c. payout with successful delivery. Stealth priority; zero collateral damage enforced. Tactical dossier available for qualified candidates. Contact SecureOps, Box Grey-E, Downtown Shield Nexus.

HELP WANTED: Counter-sniper crew for reinforcements in urban ruins. Hostile marksmen confirmed across multiple rooftops. Operation occurs under cover of night with full NVG support. 400c. base pay, certification required. Respond at Brickwatch Blacksite, Alleyway Zero, New District.

MERCENARY CONTRACTS OPEN: Urban warfare squad needed for pacifying insurgents in compromised residential blocks. Enemy combatants entrenched with small arms and improvised weaponry. Reward starts at 550c., hazard modifiers assigned post-mission. Contact Tempest Group HQ, Dockyards Bravo, Rivet City.

FOR SALE: Decommissioned APC retrofitted for recon ops. Features upgraded comms array, drone launcher compatibility, and reinforced cargo space. Combat-tested. 4,800c., or best offer. Buyer assumes all liability in post-sale use. Available to inspect at Horizon Depot, Sector 71, Blackdusk City.

HIGH-STAKES TEAM REQUEST: Drivers with convoy experience needed to run classified cargo across contested borders. Plan for heavy pursuit and ambush encounters. Armored vehicles provided. 800c. total if deadline hit. Contacts handled securely at Box Fleetwave-34, Panther Ridge Logistics.

TOP-PRIORITY OPERATION: Elite bomb disposal unit wanted for urban disarm missions involving multiple improvised explosive hotspots. Heavy pressure environment. 400c. per neutralized device with 1,200c. cap per day. Contact EOD Shadow Corps, Warehouse 9E, Port Ravenwood.

URGENT: Recovery specialists needed to extract prototype stealth tech from an overrun R&D lab. Facility defenses offline, high enemy presence reported. Close-quarters combat skills essential. 800c., with hazard multiplier depending on extraction speed. Contact Black Mist Development, Outpost Lily, Silver Range.

SEEKING CONTRACT PILOTS: Helicopter and drone professionals for fortified building siege ops. Airborne fire capabilities a bonus. 600c. base pay, combat incentives detailed upon inquiry. Secure at HeloGrid Solutions, Sector 15, East Haven Airfield.

IMMEDIATE NEED: Ex-military engineers required to disable enemy convoy supplies in underground facilities. Tunnels suspected to include automated defense systems. Pay begins at 540c., with survival bonus of 200c. Contact Excavation Black, P.O. Box 112-Fangline, Crater Cross.

Gather your squad and prepare for deployment!